You’ll eat Colombia’s national dish, bandeja paisa, throughout the country. Rice, beans, ground beef or steak, chorizo, chicharrón, arepa, avocado, platano, fried egg, and sometimes morcilla (see below). Any bandeja paisa costing 15,000 pesos will be good. My favorite is La Cucharita de Mi Abuela at Calle 63 & Carrera 13. Be like me and mix it all together with a cup of ají for spicy, sloppy goodness.
UPDATE – Bandeja paisa originates in Antioquia and Medellin. I’ve been to Medellin three times now and had many “authentic” bandeja paisas, so I can say with authority that THE BEST BANDEJA PAISAS ARE IN BOGOTA.
Ajiaco is Bogota’s regional plate. Chicken, potato, and corn soup served with a plate of rice and avocado. Add everything on the plate into the soup. Be like me and ask for extra capers (alcaparras). I didn’t see the big deal about ajiaco for a few months because I only had it at cheap and mid-priced restaurants. Make sure you have it at a decent place for at least 10,000 pesos. My favorites are the places a block from Plaza Bolivar downtown.
Black Folks’ Fish
Colombia’s black population is on the Caribbean and Pacific coasts, so fish is part of their culture. It’s pescado pacifico, technically, but I call it Black Folks’ Fish. They run the best fish fry houses in the city. Latin cities cluster their industries, so there will be a black folks’ fish street or district in any given neighborhood. I go to a place at Calle 51 and Carrera 17. Another Chapinero district is at Calle 57 and Carrera 8. If you’re staying in La Candelaria, there’s a district at Calle 20 on Carrera 4. Buy an avocado on the street before you go in.
When I first ate Colombian fish, I’d attack it with a knife and fork. This is wrong. Eat with your fingers and eat everything. Unless it’s a bone, put it in your mouth and disintegrate that shit. Fins and tails go down like potato chips. There’s only a tiny skull in its head so you can digest everything else: face skin, eyeballs, soft gunk, hard gunk, everything. Omega 3 goodness.
Chiguiro is served with pork ribs, steak, potatoes, platano, arepa boyacense, and avocado. I’d been eating chiguiro for six months before learning what it was. I was told it’s baby pig. I figured Colombians had a different word for baby pigs, like ‘veal’ for baby cow in English.
One day a Colombian explicitly told me chiguiro wasn’t pork, but a rodent. He didn’t know the word in English. He tried “hamster” and “guinea pig.” A hamster on steroids with gene therapy wouldn’t yield the big chiguiro filets. And I lived in Peru for a year, so I know guinea pig (cuy). That filthy stank is not chiguiro.
I did a Google Image search right then and there. This is what I saw! It’s a beaver! I couldn’t believe it. I’d been eating beaver for months and loving it! Some research later, I learned they’re actually called ‘capybara’ in English. Capybaras are native to South America so most wouldn’t know the word in English. My original theory was that beavers down here evolved past what they did in North America due to the combination of Andes Mountains and heavy rainfall, which must make for some killer dams. They stand up to a human’s knees. I’m not an evolutionary scientist, but look at that thing! It’s a beaver!
Chiguiro spots are difficult to find. I go to one on Calle 61 east of Carrera 13. Here are some closeups of the meat:
Known as manjar in Peru and dulce de leche in most of Latin America, arequipe is my favorite dessert. Get it served with chocolate, in a croissant, in a wafer with cheese and blackberry sauce, or in herpos. If it’s got arequipe, it’s good. It’s cheap and easy to make at home. Boil a pound of brown sugar into a liter of whole milk, stirring until thick.
Colombian coffee’s the best in the world. I’ve learned the best beans are exported to Italy, France, and Argentina where they fetch more money in absolute terms. Still, the everyday stuff is excellent. If you want a straight coffee, order a tinto. You can also get cafe con leche, cappucino, or chocolate-covered coffee beans.
Colombia’s one of the most bio-diverse countries in the world. There are loads of exotic fruits and you should eat them all. See my entire post on Fruit in Colombia.
Ensalada de Frutas
Colombians make the best fruit salads. Each bowl has a dozen different kinds of chopped fruit, cream, ice cream, and cheese. You can get these at various fruterías and cafes throughout the city, but the best (and cheapest) are at informal produce markets. These markets also have excellent morcilla and lechona (see below). I go to 7 de Agosto.
Morcilla and Lechona
Morcilla is a sausage casing stuffed with cooked blood, rice, peas, and maybe celery. It took some getting used to, but now I love it.
Lechona is pork, rice, and peas cooked together. They stuff the shelled pig carcass with the rice and pork mix. Both morcilla and lechona are inexpensive.
These are two food items, but I grouped them because you can get them together at open produce markets like Paloquemao downtown or 7 de agosto in Chapinero.
Andres Carne de Res
Andres Carne de Res is the most talked-about restaurant in the city. They serve great steaks with a packed, party atmosphere. It’s not cheap. I never went until September 2011, 2 1/2 years after moving to Bogota.
The original Andres Carne de Res is in Chia, a small pueblo just outside Bogota. There’s another in Zona Rosa (Andres DC) in the heart of the city.
I was surprised at how Americanized the service is. The staff aren’t as laidback. Hosts have walkie talkies for coordinating tables on all three floors. Our server was smiley and friendly. She was all over us any time we needed a drink. The burden to order wasn’t on the customer as in most Colombian restaurants.
So why does Andres Carne de Res make the list if it’s quasi-Americanized? Because the food’s excellent and the ambiance distinct. A friend and I shared two parrilladas (barbecue platter) and two desserts. The first parrillada (pictured) had steak, chicken, pork, morcilla, and two kinds of chorizo. The steak was a treat for me because they cooked it cuarto, medium rare. Most South Americans only eat beef cooked well done, or they eat steaks so thin you can’t do anything else. A fat, soft, bloody steak is hard to find. Get cuarto whenever you can.
My camera died before the second parrillada arrived. It featured steak and chicken plus a bacon-wrapped plum and tomato stuffed with mashed potatoes. For dessert I got arequipe with cheese and my friend got tres leches. Both were delicious and HUGE. The arequipe with cheese surprised me because the mozzarella was melted. I’d only had arequipe with cheese served cold.
Every detail of every morsel of food was perfect, including the aji. Aji’s never really bad, but their non-spicy one in particular had the freshest tomatoes I’ve eaten in a while.
Aside from the great food, Andres Carne de Res is known for its atmosphere. It’s a party place. After dinner it’s a party until 3 am. The restaurant puts effort into entertainment. When I was there a parade of guys and girls in wedding costumes made their rounds working the room. They seem like aspiring actors and improv students. They create dialogue and give customers shit.
Two ladies came by our table and one asked if I’d marry her. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but something along the lines of ‘but we haven’t even made love yet’. If I thought that’d get rid of them, I was wrong. They’ll mix it up with you. She told me to spank her. We made plans to get married in the bathroom after I finished eating.
Also worth mentioning is the artistic flavor. Management puts a unique, eclectic touch on every last detail. The water bottle came in a metal carrier. After the meal we were given two packets of assorted Colombian candies. The bathroom design, the lights, the candles, everything had a tasteful touch.
Andres Carne de Res is generally accepted as the best party in Bogota. As one upper class rola told me: “You haven’t been to Andres? You don’t know Bogota.” Now I do.
3 Things You Don’t Have To Eat in Bogota
Yuca is a major staple in countries throughout the Americas. It can be OK slow boiled in chicken broth, and anything’s OK deep-fried. But yuca is generally hard and flavorless. What’s the difference between yuca and wood? Yuca grows below ground.
Colombia is a leading producer of panela, bricks of evaporated sugar cane juice. It’s sold in the shape of a brick, but it’s also as hard as and probably heavier than a brick. You can’t cut it with a knife; you have to break it in half by banging it with a metal rod. Pure sugar. You can melt it into desserts but many people eat it in small brick form, letting it dissolve in their mouths. Once a week without fail, The Mick insists I tell the world that Colombians aren’t as strong or athletic because their parents feed them panela, and that in over 20 years he “never lost a tackle!”
You’ll have a hard time coming to Colombia and not eating arepas, a national staple. They’re cornmeal biscuits with less moisture and flavor. For more on arepas and lots of pictures, see my post on Arepas in Colombia.