Anticipation of Expatriation
This is the first entry in my AIESEC-mandated blog about my job and experiences in Arequipa, Peru. I haven’t left yet, but I want to detail my motivations, expectations, etc. before experiencing “the big experience.”
Why do I want to leave home? My home is St. Louis, MO – a medium-sized, mostly suburban city in the heart of the midwest. I’ve moved away before (within the States) but I always seem to come back. It’s no secret to anyone that knows me that my distaste for St. Louis borders on hatred, and it’s a foregone conclusion that I would leave as soon as I completed my MBA.
My life here feels so boring that I seem to have gotten back into the habit of getting in trouble. I know this sounds really corny and clichè, but I feel as if I’ll be dead or in jail if I don’t get out of here. Let me explain. At the downtown St. Patrick’s Day Parade a few weeks ago, I punched three guys consecutively in a crowded bar. My cousin said one must’ve had a broken nose there was so much blood. I was so drunk I wouldn’t have recognized them if I saw them later that same night. Two days later at the Dogtown parade, my primary partner-in-crime, George, shot me with a BB gun. I hit him with a full beer. We almost traded blows. Then his Hennessy-drinking friend and I almost traded blows. Then George beat up his Hennessy-drinking friend while I held back the other Hennessy-drinkers so it would be fair. And at Delmar Lounge after my going-away party, George punched somebody and my brother kicked him in the head. He and his friends waited for us outside but nothing happened because a cop was parked right there.
I’m not sharing this because I think it’s cool. To the contrary, I hate my life. All my interesting nights are the same immature bullshit. I hate waking up hung over virtually every day. Lately, it’s a miracle if I can get some exercise in before I start drinking again. I love my friends but I don’t see them enough to stay. This town is so average, boring, and conservative. There aren’t enough interesting attitudes or ideas here to keep my mind occupied. As they say, “an idle mind is the devil’s playground.” I have a wild side and St. Louis just doesn’t offer enough to fulfill my needs in a positive way. After grad school, I assumed I would get a job in New York, Chicago, or whatever big business hub.
Plans have changed. In August 2006, I left the country for the first time and got absolutely cracked-out addicted to it. The next summer I took two more international trips. Altogether, I spent five weeks in London, Amsterdam, Lithuania, and Brazil. I went to UMSL, which was ranked eighth in the nation for International Business (tied with Georgetown). I got active in the International Business Club and AIESEC. I made friends all over the world.
Given these developments, a market research position in New York doesn’t seem like it would take advantage of the international focus of my education. Furthermore, NYC wouldn’t be as exciting as it would have two years ago. So I’ve accepted a job outside the US to (A) fully leverage my education and pursue my interest in other countries and cultures, and (B) satisfy my need for adventure.
But why Peru?
First of all, everyone has heard of globalization. The world economy of my lifetime will look much different than it did for generations before me. The traditionally rich countries’ economies will be rivaled by traditionally third-world countries. The fall on the Berlin Wall and the the Internet have resulted in an incredibly dynamic boost in human potential. Three specific regions are projected to (and already are) experience explosive growth: Asia, Eastern Europe, and South America. Given the state of the world, I want to ride the wave of this historic period in an emerging market.
But where? Hint: I speak Spanish.
Living and working in any of those three regions would obviously fulfill my need for excitement and adventure. But I wouldn’t be telling the whole story if I implied that my fluency in Spanish were the only reason that I was only looking for work in Latin America. I loved Europe, but I fell in love with Brazil. Latin culture felt so right for me. The people, the food, the music, the passion!
This is usually where someone makes a comment about the women. Yes, I have a track record of dating Latina women. It didn’t hurt the case for South America, but I’m going for the whole package. The excitement is there! I loved Europe but never got the feeling that I wanted to live there. I did get that feeling in Brazil. I don’t intend to come back. I bought a one-way ticket. I don’t know if I’ll be in Peru, but I hope to make a new life in Latin America. I even have a backup plan. In case I can’t find work in business and need money, I’ve been certified to teach English. Even uncertified English teachers are in high demand in every city of every non-English speaking country in the world.
Moving is hard. I do not underestimate the tough challenges and culture shock which lie ahead. There will be things I miss about America. I can guess what kinds of things they will be, but I don’t know for sure. I’m not forgetting that I had it pretty easy in Brazil with two Brazilian friends to cart me around. Each one had a car. Each one had educated, English-speaking friends. I didn’t have to learn streets, take public transportation, communicate in Portuguese, make my own friends, find an apartment, or any of the difficulties of moving to a new city. I’m not ignoring this. I’m not unrealistic. And I’m not afraid. I have a dream – an abstract dream of becoming a marketing professional who can facilitate international business in Latin America.
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There is alot to be said for welcoming new challenges and experiences. It is that sense of fearlessness one achieves when conquering all that is new and difficult. At least that was my experience when I took the bull by the horns the 1st time so to speak in traveling abroad.
And yes I too felt Sydney held very little appeal for me to stay. I had worked since age 15, but there was always this feeling of emptiness, especially compounded when hitting the bar scene at the tender age of 17 in Australia, it only helped solidified my resolve to yearn for something better.
I can count on one hand all the times my experiences in Sydney’s nitelife met with my approval with stimulating moments. Many are similar to your dickhead nights out you describe, my mates starting up trouble because of the lack of good women or perhaps the disdain at seeing so many sexy yet pretentious tarts drinking up free rounds from guys only for the relentless coaxing of their egos by testosterone filled meatheads with zero chance of scoring.
I really never bought that reality one iota, I inherently knew women are meant to be less superficial and more welcoming than this, otherwise how have we survived as a species up until now with so much fluff and needless posturing.
I had a moment of clarify once upon a time at 18 when I met a small group of 4 Brazilian tourist they seemed really nice and I remember one comment from them that stuck with me when I asked them why they were always so upbeat and friendly. They just told me like it was common knowledge, that its harder and more difficult to comprehend this stiff upper lip english way of doing things, it makes more sense to make alot of friends, not less. And their “why spoil a good time by having a bad one” attitude. Not to mention Delgado’s irreverence to one of the brasilian girls called Fernanda, who at the end of the night I discovered was his distant cousin. He would tease and joke at her sometimes making her dance the samba for our own amusement. I was sold on their lifestyle, their ideology towards life in general. And happy to have met Diego and Fernanda plus the other 2 girls in his entourage.
Ah well maybe I should write my own blog about how Diego’s constant open playful badgering of Fernanda to sleep with me payed off in me becoming a latino by heart from that day forth.