Latinos’ Awful Writing Skills
SUMMARY: I explain that Latinos’ writing skills are horrible, with plenty of examples. I conclude with what I believe to be the root cause of this weakness.
Disclaimer #1: Of course not all Latinos’ writing sucks. Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Mario Vargas Llosa have proven they can spell. Spanish-language journalists understand the utility of punctuation. And if you’re a Latino reading this, then you can probably write well. Maybe. But the majority of rank-and-file Latinos including white-collar professionals SUCK. This is not debatable. It’s fact.
Disclaimer #2: Remember that I love Latin culture. My decision to live down here, to spend most of my time with these people, and to create a new life here — my actions speak louder than words. However, you can’t expect someone to embrace every single aspect of a new culture. The shitty writing will never grow on me.
Disclaimer #3: I want to fully admit and take responsibility for how Americans have butchered the English language. Assuming Jamaican patois isn’t even English anymore, American English is the worst in the world. I apologize for that, especially to my Limey readers, but it doesn’t make Latinos’ writing any less shitty.
On to the evidence! … Read more
Formalities & Politeness in Bogota
SUMMARY: I describe the formal culture of Bogota, Colombia, as seen in its language, how the language is used between men, and the business dress code.
Colombians say Colombian Spanish is the best in the world. They say the Spanish spoken in Colombia is more proper than that spoken in Spain. Colombians take language seriously and make an effort to use it correctly. I once mentioned a mistake in common Peruvian Spanish to some Colombians, a mistake I didn’t realize was a mistake until I moved to Colombia. When asked why Peruvians might use it that way, one of them said “Son brutos.” They’re ignorant. … Read more
Buenos Aires, Argentina = Italy Meets South America
SUMMARY: I spend a 4-day weekend in Buenos Aires. Sections include BA European City, Argentine Women, BA’s Nocturnal Culture, Food: BA for Carnivores, Language: Argentine Spanish, Tango!, and Conclusion: Buenos Aires Doesn’t Suck.
The Colombian government won’t issue work visas inside Colombia. I had to pick the actual visa up at a Colombian consulate in a different country. So I scoured the internet for flights to anywhere. Surprisingly, Buenos Aires was the cheapest ticket. So I spent a 4-day weekend in BA to pick up my Colombian work visa.
European City
While I certainly planned to see BA someday, I was never eager to see it. I had heard that they consider themselves more European, they’re snobs, etc. I’ll say that the Argentine people were much more friendly than I thought.
The city has a noticeable European feel. There are people walking around with blond hair and blue eyes… Read more
My First Paisa in Colombia
SUMMARY: I get drunk and go to Plaza Lourdes to get high. I meet my first paisa, a pseudo-ethnic subculture in Colombia.
Alternate Title: My First Run-In with Cocaine in Colombia
I met my first paisa last week. I’d heard about the paisas before. The guy who worked the graveyard shift at my Candelaria hotel was from Medellin, as are the paisas. He told me they’re the crazy culture in Colombia. The street-smart, hot-headed people. Somewhat involved in crime. Quick to pull guns. In other words, they’re the niggaz of Colombia. The black Colombians don’t have that reputation here; the paisas do.
The most famous paisas include Pablo Escobar (of Medellin Cartel fame) and, ironically, the current president Alvaro Uribe, who was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by George W. Bush last year. Others include Juanes and painter Fernando Botero. The paisas aren’t necessarily of a different ethnic lineage. The Medellin region is their distinction. They’re associated with the coffee industry, and cocaine too. In fact, the textbook stereotype of a paisa is Juan Valdez, the face figure of the Juan Valdez coffee brand. Juan Valdez is the Starbucks of Colombia, a chain of coffee shops modeled after Starbucks.
So I was drinking rum in Plaza Lourdes on a Thursday night. … Read more
Cholos, Cholas, Cholo Power, and Cholita Brown
SUMMARY: I discuss the meaning of the word ‘cholo’ with examples and antecdotes.
Before moving to Peru, I misunderstood the term ‘cholo’ to mean what it means in the States. In America, cholo has morphed into meaning Mexican gangster – the stereotype having a shaved head, tattoos, and knee-high ankle socks pulled up. The 70s and 80s era cholo was stereotyped with the slicked-back hair, maybe under a hair-net, and a tank-top muscle shirt or flannel with only the top button fastened.
So when I moved here and heard the word, I assumed they were talking about gangsters or thugs. It wasn’t long before things didn’t make sense and I got clarification. … Read more
Básquet, Language, and Civil Unrest in Peru
SUMMARY: I talk about my basketball team, about my improving Spanish, and describe the protest / civil unrest dimension of Peru.
Basquet
My basketball team played our first game last Wednesday night. I played about 15 of the 40 minute game. In my 15 minutes, I had 2 points, several rebounds, a few blocks, and 3 fouls. The refs here call MUCH closer than in the States. Or maybe they’re picking on me because I’m a gringo playing a little rougher than the Peruvian style. … Read more
