Contributed Story: Pooping and Machu Picchu
SUMMARY: Stephen Loase, lead singer of Lonely Mattress Salesman, goes to Machu Picchu and poops his brains out. With pics.
Special undies
Before the trip, I went to REI for camping equipment. I bought a fleece, backpack, and a very special item: a $25 pair of special underwear you can wear for 4-5 days that doesn’t absorb odor/moisture. Happiness Level: A+
Cocoa Tea
We arrive in Peru. Upon arrival I notice the slight elevation sickness that everyone talks about so I drink the forbidden Cocoa Tea (made from pre-Cocaine leaves), which is supposed to dull the pain. Instead of the euphoric, drug-leaf-ridden tizzy I was hoping it would put me in, it made my stomach do jumping jacks while my upper intestine fell asleep with the door shut. Happiness Level: A- … Read more
Bad Luck Continues but Can’t Stop San Jose
SUMMARY: Simon catches a brichera (two actually). My team wins the city championship. I discuss my developing relationship with Anita.
My Irish cousin, Simon, enjoyed the most unlikely of coincidences after leaving Arequipa for Lima. Excerpts from his email:
I just wanted to fill you in on a weird happening i had in Lima. As you may remember when we were in Deja Vu in Arequipa we were both dancing with those two gringo hunters (you had the smaller one with huge tits and a nice ass). Anyway we left for the whorehouse so i made my excuses and left with you, Gav and Nicholas. That was that.
The first night out in Lima i fucking run into them both towards the end of the night and we start talking (needless to say i was hammered). I was chatting to the one i was dancing with and her friend with some guy i met in the hostel we were staying in. Around 7 or so we all decide to leave except my friend from the hostel doesnt want to go so i end up leaving with both of them. Man those gringo hunters…i like them! You were right, it is fucking easy when youre around them and i didnt even have to buy her or her friend a drink.
We went back to their apartment and I went to the other ones room.we were fucking for a while (i had had a lot to drink and was finding it hard to finish off) when there was a knock at the door. It was her friend with the huge tits and the nice ass. She wanted to join us. I didnt say no. so i watched them fool around for a while until the friend started on me. She managed to get the job done so all was good. Great night.
Sleaze in Arequipa (and God’s Punishment)
SUMMARY: Dennis comes to Arequipa. Another drunken gringo weekend and its aftermath described. Pictures.
Dennis arrived Thursday. I had Rosa line up an English-speaking friend and we went out for some food and a drink. Dennis and I were really tired so we called it an early night. When I got back to the apartment, the entire second floor was underwater – about five inches. My roommate’s dad made a minor repair to the toilet which apparently came undone while we were out. Now the second floor was a lake.
Dennis had the insane, divine luck to have put his suitcase and all his things on top of my bed where they stayed completely dry. We slept on the couches downstairs. Friday, Dennis and I spent all morning sweeping the water out the front door. … Read more
