Nasty Follow-Ups
SUMMARY: Developments to old stories sometimes get left out of this blog. This post sums up those most interesting regarding hazing, basketball, racism, sex, work and Peruvian culture in the following sections: From Hazed to Hazer, San Jose Basketball, Cholo Cholin, AQP Gringo Tours, Anita, Milagros, and Scrawny Anorexic.
From Hazed To Hazer
A week after the team put Icy Hot in my ass, I met Sebastián – a new addition to the team who wasn’t at our initiation. Coach said Sebastián must adhere to tradition. I was in the back of the locker room but Flaco singled me out – probably due to my performance when the team subdued me. He addressed me in English while pointing at Sebastián, “Kah-lahn, fetch.” … Read more
Hazing in Peru
SUMMARY: I get my first dose of hazing in Peru, courtesy of my San Jose basketball teammates. I describe the humiliating incident in detail.
I got a good dose of Peruvian hazing last night after our team pounded San Juan 73 – 46. There were a handful of new guys – youngsters – who I assume were the best players from the high school team and the coach wants to start exposing them to the men’s Superior League.
After the beatdown, we all gathered in the locker room to discuss the next practice, etc. Coach told us that San Jose has a tradition for new players and these three new youngsters need to follow suit. A couple voices yelled out, “¡Colin también!” After hearing this, guys stole glances at me laughing. I immediately got nervous. Ramiro looked at me and told me I looked tense, laughing. … Read more
Bad Luck Continues but Can’t Stop San Jose
SUMMARY: Simon catches a brichera (two actually). My team wins the city championship. I discuss my developing relationship with Anita.
My Irish cousin, Simon, enjoyed the most unlikely of coincidences after leaving Arequipa for Lima. Excerpts from his email:
I just wanted to fill you in on a weird happening i had in Lima. As you may remember when we were in Deja Vu in Arequipa we were both dancing with those two gringo hunters (you had the smaller one with huge tits and a nice ass). Anyway we left for the whorehouse so i made my excuses and left with you, Gav and Nicholas. That was that.
The first night out in Lima i fucking run into them both towards the end of the night and we start talking (needless to say i was hammered). I was chatting to the one i was dancing with and her friend with some guy i met in the hostel we were staying in. Around 7 or so we all decide to leave except my friend from the hostel doesnt want to go so i end up leaving with both of them. Man those gringo hunters…i like them! You were right, it is fucking easy when youre around them and i didnt even have to buy her or her friend a drink.
We went back to their apartment and I went to the other ones room.we were fucking for a while (i had had a lot to drink and was finding it hard to finish off) when there was a knock at the door. It was her friend with the huge tits and the nice ass. She wanted to join us. I didnt say no. so i watched them fool around for a while until the friend started on me. She managed to get the job done so all was good. Great night.
Why Latinas Love Me and More San Jose Basketball
SUMMARY: I start dating two new girls. I analyze why Latinas like gringos. I talk more about basketball in Peru.
I have two potential girlfriend-replacements lined up. However, I’m reevaluating whether either one is worthy of replacing Rosa. I was pretty drunk when I met each one and almost didn’t remember what they looked like. They’re attractive but not girlfriend material.
Anita, the lawyer, came to watch my basketball game. She comes from a basketball family and later admitted that she wanted me after hearing I play for San Jose. She and I went to this Irish pub with Nicolas – it was his first Friday night in Arequipa and he had nobody to go out with. After Anita told me she had a three year-old daughter, we made out a little on the cab ride home. … Read more
Cold Gringo and Homosexuality in Peru
SUMMARY: I describe a culture shock about interacting with other men and, unrelatedly, homosexuality and tolerance in Peru.
I feel the warm culture of Latin America is a better fit for me, but there are ways in which I am and may always be a cold gringo.
I have many friends already and am getting along well, but something occasionally bothers me about my male friends. When males become friends, they typically insult and poke fun of each other. This is completely normal. Having been in a fraternity and always had macho asshole friends, I can hang with the best of them. However, a certain amount of time is needed for the friendship to incubate and develop before the insults begin. In the warm culture, guys become good friends in less time. I’m a cold gringo because I need more time before I’m comfortable with this kind of joking. … Read more
Rosa Done Lost Her Mind and San Jose
SUMMARY: I describe how Charo lost her mind.
I see the end of me and Rosa coming soon. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you may have gathered that I am not in love and I cheat on her whenever possible. But I always liked her enough to keep her around. She has started to go a little crazy, which happens with all women in my experience. After some time, they begin their efforts in trying to change a man. Standard operating procedure. The future of the couple depends on (A) if the woman cares enough to change the man and (B) if the man cares enough to tolerate it. In my case, I don’t like her enough. She has started nagging me to clean my room and polish my shoes. … Read more
