Latinos’ Awful Writing Skills
SUMMARY: I explain that Latinos’ writing skills are horrible, with plenty of examples. I conclude with what I believe to be the root cause of this weakness.
Disclaimer #1: Of course not all Latinos’ writing sucks. Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Mario Vargas Llosa have proven they can spell. Spanish-language journalists understand the utility of punctuation. And if you’re a Latino reading this, then you can probably write well. Maybe. But the majority of rank-and-file Latinos including white-collar professionals SUCK. This is not debatable. It’s fact.
Disclaimer #2: Remember that I love Latin culture. My decision to live down here, to spend most of my time with these people, and to create a new life here — my actions speak louder than words. However, you can’t expect someone to embrace every single aspect of a new culture. The shitty writing will never grow on me.
Disclaimer #3: I want to fully admit and take responsibility for how Americans have butchered the English language. Assuming Jamaican patois isn’t even English anymore, American English is the worst in the world. I apologize for that, especially to my Limey readers, but it doesn’t make Latinos’ writing any less shitty.
On to the evidence! … Read more
Chapinero in Pictures
SUMMARY: Profile and pictures of the coolest neighborhood in Bogota, Chapinero.
Taxis in Colombia vs. Peru
SUMMARY: I discuss the risks and rules of taking taxis in Colombia and Peru. Sections include Peruvian Rules, Peruvian Horror Stories, Colombian Rules, Colombian Stories (no horror), and Conclusion.
American taxis are generally safe. The worst thing to happen is getting “taken for a ride.” Taxis in Latin America can be dangerous. The worst thing that happened while I was in Peru was a tourist getting robbed, raped, and murdered.
There are rules to taking taxis down here. I’m going to explain them, then contrast the Colombian rules with the Peruvian rules. Then I’ll explain why, ironically, I prefer the Peruvian rules. … Read more
La Candelaria in Pictures
SUMMARY: Brief profile and pictures of the famed neighborhood, La Candelaria. Crazy murals included.
Why I Hate Downtown Bogota
SUMMARY: One day’s events that highlight why I hate / despise / loathe being in downtown Bogota and La Candelaria.
Political Correctness Disclaimer: I would like to use the term ‘panhandler’, but it doesn’t read well. I am sensitive to those truly in need, which there are many of in Bogota due to displacements from the war. But I’m going to use the word ‘bum’ because it reads better, it saves space, and it doesn’t describe genuinely needy people so much as it describes professional panhandlers, stick-up kids, drug addicts, and hybrids of those three.
Rosa visited me in Bogota for the weekend (Rosa was my first girlfriend in Peru). As will be the case for any tourist that visits me here, I had to show her Monserrate, La Candelaria, Plaza Bolivar, museums – points of interest unfortunately located downtown.
We took the TransMilenio from Chapinero… Read more
My First Mugging in Colombia
SUMMARY: I tell a few stories about crime and danger in La Candelaria, including my first mugging in Colombia. I have decided to find an apartment in a different, safer neighborhood. Because I am a big pussy. Sections include Perpetual Begging, The Brick Incident, My Easter Sunday Mugging, and Leaving La Candelaria.
After staying in La Candelaria when I was in Bogotá last year, I was convinced that I’d live in the neighborhood if I ever moved to Bogotá. After a week in the neighborhood this time, I’m convinced I won’t stay. The bums, drug dealers, shadetree operators, thieves, scoundrels, and sketchballs are too much for me to take. I’m leaving.
Perpetual Begging
Not only am I harrassed for spare change by panhandlers, I’m also offered drugs daily. It’s always a persistent sell. They try to shake my hand or call me “my friend” and ask where I’m from. They run the line about the bus or food or whatever. One time a bum stood in the middle of the street and acted like he hailed me a taxi that was going to stop anyway. Then he asked for a tip. … Read more
