Peru’s Evil Jealous Psycho Witches

Wife was buying fruit at the market the other day from her regular vendor, who on this particular occasion told her that I’m chasing after another woman in the neighborhood.

“Está detrás de una joven,” were her precise words, according to wife.

This would normally prompt a nasty fight at home, but wife has come a long way in the maturity department. And she realizes that Peru if not all of Latin America is full of evil jealous psycho witches. Because this is not the first time it has happened.

Wife fired Ferreñafana a couple months ago, and our fourth and final maidservant told her, “Tu esposo te está engañanado.” Your husband is cheating on you.

Sidenote: if you aren’t signed up for the Expat Chronicles newsletter, you’re missing some of the hardcore stories which aren’t published here. Sign up this week and I’ll email you the last issue describing the firing of Ferreñafana.

Those two lying bitches from this year weren’t our first experience with this. Two neighbors from when we lived in Arequipa told wife the same thing.

All allegations are patently false. I’ve settled into the devoted husband/father role pretty well. There have been zero transgressions, not even flirting with the line. I’m happy in my family.

So what the hell is with all these psycho bitches making up potentially family-ruining lies? Are they pure evil?

The immediate instinct is to blame jealousy. Like crabs in a bucket pulling down the crab trying to climb out, they have to tear down their fellow Peruvian happily married to a big strong gringo who is always seen carting around the beautiful children. And of course it doesn’t help when the wife in question gives off a bit of a better-than-you vibe to anybody that’s not family.

But I’m not sure it’s jealousy alone. Well, it was in the case of the maidservant and at least one of the AQP cases, who claimed she herself was having sex with me. But in the others I think there may be a uniquely Peruvian femi-camaraderie at play.

Peruvian women (and men) are said to be more possessive and jealous, in addition to being, ahem, abusive in their being possessive and jealous. I’ve experienced it firsthand, and fortunately for me it’s on the way out.

But I’ve seen it in other couples, sometimes the man but usually the woman. And after this latest false accusation I had the idea that maybe this fruit vendor woman is one of these psycho evil bitches too. Maybe she thinks she’s doing my wife a favor. Maybe it’s some fucked-up kind of femi-bonding in Peru. Lamenting the bastards they married, whether they’re guilty or not.

Your bastard is chasing around a really young one, poor bastard. Let’s commiserate. You should scream at him when you get home, maybe break some glass.

That’s my idea. What do you think? Jealous evil bitches, or masochistic femi-bonding?

Peru recently made world headlines when contestants in its national beauty pageant denounced violence against women.

According to the New York Times:

“My measurements are 2,202 cases of feminicide reported in the last nine years in my country,” Ms. Canicoba, a contestant for the Miss Peru pageant said into the microphone on Sunday …

As women in the United States have spoken out in recent weeks against sexual abuse by men in Hollywood, the media and government, the beauty pageant in Peru has ignited its own wave of debate this week in a part of the world where violence against women is more extreme by many statistics.

In fact, the killings of women have become so numerous in Latin America that newspapers refer to them as feminicide …

All told 23 women offered statistics of violence instead of their body size to wide applause from the audience.

This display comes one year after the Ni Una Menos demonstration which saw 50,000 people march in downtown Lima against violence toward women. In the lead up to that, a group of dudes organized a Ni Uno Menos Facebook group (non-Spanish speakers, note the gender “Una” is a woman, “Uno” is a man) which tried to hold a march, but apparently nobody went.

I know that a shocking percentage of women in Peru and greater Latin America are battered, and I don’t want to take away from the Ni Una Menos message. But the fact that there is a reaction calling attention to abused men … says something.

The picture is Rosita Espinosa of The Walking Dead, the smokin Latina who falls for the big strong ginger, Abraham Ford. After he is killed, she lives to avenge his death. I couldn’t help myself.

Donate