Does She Only Want the Visa?

Posted on 12. Oct, 2012 by in latin america

My wife Milagros doesn’t tell people she’s married to a gringo.

Why? – I asked.

Because every time the Peruvian asks about her visa – Did she get it yet? Is that why she married me? Etc.

She doesn’t like talking about it so she’s decided to stop telling people she’s married to an American. She just confirms she’s married and leaves it at that.

Then she asked me, ‘How many Latinas with gringos are only in it for the visa?’

‘Good question!’ – I replied. I have no idea.

What do you think? Comments welcome.

[poll id=7]

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24 Responses to “Does She Only Want the Visa?”

  1. Mark

    12. Oct, 2012

    In Bogota, the further south you go, the higher the proportion of of the chicks are gonna go after your money and/or your visa.

  2. shmiggen mghow

    12. Oct, 2012

    I voted the vast majority, but it’s just a guess. I used to travel throughout Thailand, and for sure the majority of Thai women are with westerners for the Visa. I have no idea about S America, but my hunch is is they are poor – they want out.

    Am I wrong? Anyone?

  3. matthew b

    12. Oct, 2012

    I think you can tell right away by looking at the couple. Are they on the same level? If the woman looks way too hot or is way younger than the man, common sense will tell you she’s probably in it for the visa aka money.

    The same logic applies to all american couples, or all colombian couples. If the chick is way out of his league it’s highly likely that money is a factor.

  4. Twenty

    13. Oct, 2012

    I voted for “a small minority”, but I don’t know anymore than anyone else does. I figure the wording “only for the visa” is an easy justification for my call; even if one assumes a mercenary Latina heart, a gringo could bring many benefits (money, status) aside from the visa.

    Plus, it’s not like every Latino wants to leave his country.

  5. Colin

    13. Oct, 2012

    “Shmiggen” – Colombia and Peru are actually poorer than Thailand. But comparing the two is apples and oranges. The main difference is that Latin America and Gringolandia have a lot more in common. Religion plays a huge role in a country’s culture. And in the case of the US and Canada, the history of European colonialism as well as geographic proximity put the cultures much closer culturally. So I think a natural attraction and chemistry between Latin people and “Westerners” is more likely. I’m sure there are plenty of “Westerner”-Asian couples out there that are completely functional, but my impression is that there’s so little in common culturally, in language, culture, values, family. Those couples seem a lot more forced to me, and one of the two would have to completely adopt the culture of the other for it to work. Not necessarily so different between Latin and Gringo culture.

    Another difference off the top of my head when it comes to Asia, and granted I’ve only been to China, but I found Asians to believe they’re more evolved than white people. They look at us like monkeys. In Latin America it’s the opposite. White is cherished to the point of ridiculousness, especially evident in the lack of Indian faces in Peruvian television. Indian is disowned, as is black. Over 50% in each South American country (Central America, Caribbean, Mexico not included) identify themselves as “white.”

    But yes, there are many desperate Latin women who get on the internet dating sites hunting for a gringo husband just to get out.

    The married couples who raise children in Colombia, Peru, and beyond, which there are many of, aren’t likely to meet a guy like me. I know a few internet personalities, but if they’re not online I just wouldn’t know them. So my opinion of the % is biased towards more than 50%.

    Twenty – 2 good points there. 1st, I thought about including verbage to include financial motives. But that’s in women’s nature, and you see it within any culture. The hottest women date the richest men. So I decided to keep this strictly about the visa, and that may lower the true %.

    2nd, many of the Gringo-Latina or Latino-Gringa couples I know stayed in Latin America. They don’t live in the US.

  6. Jimmy

    14. Oct, 2012

    I saw a painting in Brazil that showed a happy Brazilian Family. Black Grandma was giving thanks to God as she sat with here white son-in-law, mullatto daughter, and italian looking grandchildren.

    The elevation of whiteness in Latin America frustrates american soul brothers who are accustomed to elevated cultural status in the States.

  7. Jimmy

    14. Oct, 2012

    A Chinese lady I know quite well told me that American men make good husbands. They prefer to stay home with the family as opposed to gamble and have sex with KTV girls.

  8. shmiggen mghow

    15. Oct, 2012

    Whoa, I just finished reading your posts regarding your marriage to Milagros, and I have to say congrats, man! I liked this blog on facebook several months ago but due to laziness I admit I have not read much nor followed your blog…but those pics of you at your wedding are outstanding and like one of your commenters stated, any blog which has happy folks living their life to the fullest is a beautiful thing. I wish you luck in all you do and even though I don’t know you those pics make me wish I was there and buying drinks for everyone. Can’t say it enough how great it is to see a blog with a newly wed couple taking the leap of faith.

    I caroused around Thailand in my 30’s (I’m 43 now) and I kind of fucked it all up. I had a few girlfriends over there but the radically different culture, the bhuddism and all that…I just couldn’t adapt. It breaks my heart thinking about it. I must have had I guess three relationships over the course of eight years, none of ’em I could make work. Jesus, now I think I should have gone to Latin America. The thing is, everybody back then was expatting to SE Asia – it was the “thing to do”. Thailand and Indonesia were loaded with western guys hooking up with the local girls. I completely missed out on S America.

    It takes courage to do what you did, getting married, sharing your story with others. There is no doubt in my mind you will succeed in whatever you do.

    Just out of curiosity, how do you keep the revenue coming in living abroad? You don’t have to answer if you prefer to keep that private. When I was in Thailand I had to leave periodically to return to my job to replenish my wallet. I hated leaving but I had no choice. If I owned a bar or something I would not have had to do that but alas, all that is history now…

  9. Ward

    19. Oct, 2012

    Patricia is like that too, she doesn’t volunteer that she’s married to a foreigner because of the stereotypes that are associated.

    I have heard a few horror stories of guys who found out after getting married that the girl only wanted a visa or money but I think in many cases they should have known, it’s not that hard to know if someone is sincere.

    Sort of on a similar line of thought, I’ve heard stories of girls who met or married foreigners but ended up with really bad experiences. Too many people here still believe any gringo is a good person just for being gringo.

  10. Howard

    19. Oct, 2012

    My wife is from Ghana. I think finding a good husband was most important for her but the US visa was also attractive. It is part of the bundle of value an American brings to the table when courting foreign girls. Make absolutely sure your girl is attracted to you physically and is into you before you start the immigration process. If you are careful, it is possible to find a good wife who will stay after the two year removal of conditions.

  11. John

    20. Oct, 2012

    been married 4 years to my wife I do travel 70% of the time I do pay 90% of the bills she I did put her through college and now she is starting to contribute money wise at first was had if I left a cash stash in the house it was gone when she found it we almost got a divorce over it and she is jealous (HIGHLY) regards me as her property that drives me nuts beyond sanity but most of the place I travel for work is in Latin America but all is calming down as far as that now she has never asked for her citizenship to the States says she only wants to visit
    I did offer once to get her citizenship but she did not want to away from family so it was declined but my son I have with her I will get his citizenship no matter what she says she got drunk one time and ask me to get her paper work for the States but I declined because I offered once and she said no that was here recently so I don’t think there is a high percentage that are in it only for the VISA . But I do think there is a high percentage of Latina’s that marry for money and strata news flash not all gringo’s have money we work for it the same as anyone else just FYI for the Latina’s reading

  12. Rawley

    24. Oct, 2012

    I voted in the 26% – 50% range…I think that the majority of women in South America would marry / date / get with a gringo for a myriad of reasons other than VISAs..but there is a good amount that are looking for money, a way out and so forth.

    After living around Latinas here in my city and traveling around in different Latin countries, It gets a little easier to pick out the VISA chasers. The cute latina, who is not flaunting herself with 3000 facebook friends, cosmetic surgery and the never ending need for attention from men, probably dates with her heart like most women in any culture. The facebook sloot, twitter addict, etc is pretty much the same anywhere,except that the North American version is probably less attractive and with a shorter shelf life than her Latina , or Eastern European counterpart.

    I also agree with one reader above, that guys need to kind of be reasonable with their expectations. If you were dating terrible looking American women, and suddenly find yourself with a Colombian playmate then you might be well served to realize it might not be “true love” … maybe you’re fine with that? If so…ok, then enjoy the 10 for a couple years until she leaves you. Otherwise, date with more reasonable expectations.

  13. Rawley

    24. Oct, 2012

    PS – It is important to weed out all the haters in these kinds of conversations too.

    Typically the first people to start talking about marriage for papers, are fat local women, who are bitter that their available pool of suitors are smartening up and shopping abroad for a better deal.

  14. mike mccord

    06. Nov, 2012

    I am married to a filipina that is way out of my league and was less than half my age at the time we married. My family was totally against this union; both my siblings and my children. They all said she was just looking for a visa. And the facts are that most filipinos of both sexes are looking to get out to somewhere that they can make a living and send money to support families back home.

    Well almost five years later and she is still a very loving wife who has made my life much better. I have made her life better too. She works full time but makes no where near what I make. I still pay the bills but she helps. o course she is irrational, immotional, and illogical. When I tell my six sisters about my male friends complaining about this feature of their wifes they say, ” They did know they were marrying women, didn’t they?”

  15. Doc

    08. Nov, 2012

    “I found Asians to believe they’re more evolved than white people. They look at us like monkeys.”

    Hey, as long as their women are willing to cater to my animalistic needs, and I can scratch myself where I want, when I want – I’m good with it… 🙂

    It’s interesting, I have found that Chinese women tend to be able to incorporate femininity into their day to day behavior much better than most Caucasian women, and they tend to be much more subservient. Now, I have found most American women fight against this, but they really do want it and I have had more than a few Doctors and Lawyers who at night, just want to “keep their man happy”…

    I actually think the reason so many Western Women are unhappy, is because there are fewer and fewer MEN who are comfortable being the unwavering head of a relationship and taking the leadership role. I know that one of the reasons younger women hook-up with me, is because I am the strong male figure they never had growing up. That is fine with me, since they give me what I need. But I have found that foreign women tend to be more accepting of this part of their nature. American women tend to want to “hide” it…

  16. Rubio

    18. Nov, 2012

    I think in Bogota it’s the OPPOSITE…. people in poorer neighborhoods have such low costs of living and often dont appreciate any of the finer things in life anyways. Speaking from direct personal experience, you give them a glass of Chianti and they can’t figure out if it’s wine… “why isn’t it SWEET like it’s supposed to be??”… I was hooked up for like 8 months with a woman who would only eat chicken rice and potatoes and drink soda….. no fruits no veg and forget about a nice rare piece of meat…. OTOH people Estrato 4 and above are the ones JONESING to go somewhere else all the time, they are typically the ones living beyond their means here…

  17. Matt

    26. Jan, 2013

    I would think it to be around 50%. But who’s to say? What woman if you asked them “Did you marry just for your visa/green card?” is going to say yes?

  18. afaro1

    19. Apr, 2013

    i wish latina women didnt have a need to get married to a gringo because that would destroy their culture. makes me real sad. i wish they could stay in their country of origin and marry one of their own. i have seen the damage that interracial marriage between latinos and gringos cause. they do it out of blindess. believe they can never have what they had back home and i dont mean poverty because money is not everything. to me they are selling their soul for a cheap price.

  19. Jorge

    25. Apr, 2013

    Latinas like Gringos for a few other reasons as well: less likely to be unfaithful (too many Latin men are “cabrones.” Gringos are less likely to treat the woman as a brood mare or a glorified servant. Gringo men, in short, are likely to be less controlling. Of course I am generalizing, but I have heard to many Latinas say, “there is no way in hell I’d marry a Mexican (Colombian, Ecuadorian, Peruvian, etc.) man.”

    Conversely, Gringos like Latinas because they are unashamedly feminine–even if they are professionals. This can range from the tawdry to the refined in style: nothing more hilarious than the really “naco” Latina–sort of like Dallas cowgirl cheerleader + Playboy bunny, way over the top.

  20. Mars

    15. Feb, 2014

    From my peruvian point of view, I would say half or less than a half. I have a boyfriend who is from scotland (and yes!, he is a very lovely and awesome ginger) and im not with him for his money or visa, I truly l o v e him. We met in Peru, cause im from here, but in my case as in the case of your wife, i dont say where my boyfriend is or, when people ask me I try to avoid the ‘are you with a gringo as a girlfriend? question, mostly because is very annoying people start making pre juices about it, and often they think i am a gringo hunter or all the bad things…But, by the other hand, they are girls who date ”gringos” and this is more for social status than something else, because is very common here to associate it with the fact they may have money….but I think also, that ”gringos” also date latinas, while they can, cause is much easier to impress us, cause is ‘something’ new for us… so easy to impress easy to get. Well im making this too long so, in resume, i think that latinas who wants to catch a gringos are probably from not good social economic status, and this is not something inherent of just us as a latina, is from everybody who does not have the opportunity to improve and met someone who is better positioned they will take the chance, here, there, or in any part of the world. And by the way, nowadays i think this is less, cause a new generation which im part of, we are improving more therefore we are more professionals or workers, so in consequence of that, less is the need to go out of the country for a better future, considering that Peru is strongly growing as a country. well, goodbyes to all you, and i reaaaaaaaaaaally hope next time people see me with my boyfriend they think ‘what a lovely mix raced couple’ and not bad things that start affecting me and because of me then him 🙁

  21. Jack

    15. Apr, 2014

    It depends on the nationality. You can NOT say all latin girls are like that. For example Chile is a first world right now and people do not need to get a VISA cause they live well in their country, because they have money and have a good quality of life. So women are not interested in a VISA.

    However, some poor latin countries could be.

  22. Denise

    05. Jun, 2015

    Soy argentina No la visa nunca nos importa a las mujeres latinas Si importa que sean lo que nuestros hombres no son educados y comprometidos con sus familias . Beso

  23. Argentinian girl

    24. Feb, 2016

    I found this interesting. I am latina ( from Argentina). My american boyfriend is 22 and I am 27. I met him when I was working in the US when I was 25 …OMG He was 19 ( he looked like 24 for me and he is very tall) The point of this is that I do not care about a visa. I care about him. when you find love you do not care about those things. We were together for almost 2 years yup…LDR He came to Argentina and I went to the US. What is going to happen? No idea. The only thing that I know we were meant to be! Now He is gonna move here for six months 🙂

  24. Roger Behrens

    12. Mar, 2017

    You can tell a scammer if they are impatient and rush you to bring them to your country. “Yes, I fell in love the moment I saw your profile. When can you get me to your country?”
    If they are faking emotion for you and are overly interested in gifts and immediately give you a hard luck story, then they are using you.
    It generally takes 2-3 years to get to know someone. The scammers are not that patient. If you tell a scammer that you won’t be able to come to their country to meet them for a while, they will drop you and go look for someone else.
    A person who really loves you will wait for you.
    Also, unless your Latina is from a wealthy family or has a very good career, she may ask you for money. That does NOT mean she is using you. It means that she needs help.
    If she threatens to cut off contact unless you send money, and isn’t grateful for what you have given her, then she is using you.

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