Contributed Story: Roosh V’s Colombian Virgin

Posted on 18. May, 2012 by in colombia, contributed stories

This story’s from Roosh V, international seduction blogger and publisher of country-specific how-to-get-laid books. See my review of Roosh’s How to Bang Colombia.

This story comes from his latest book, 30 Bangs:
(purchasing through that link supports Expat Chronicles)

In Medellin there’s a club called Babylon that has ladies night every Thursday. The first fifty girls drink for free. I’d roll in around 10:30 to be greeted by a few dozen girls already buzzing. The only problem was that they were all sitting. A good move was simply to ask if I could sit with them, but later it got tougher because their guy friends would arrive and form an impenetrable force field.

One night I was with a wingman who quickly got in with a girl, leaving me solo. I saw three young girls dancing around a table. One was cute and petite. The smaller a girl’s body, the bigger my manhood looks and the more powerful I feel in bed, as if I’m raping a teenage girl.

I moved next to them. Petiteski gave me a quick glance, then looked at her friends and laughed.

“You guys look like you speak Spanish,” I said. The petite one rolled her eyes and said, “Well, duh.”

Not only did she speak English, she had a firm grasp of American slang. Her sassiness meant I could ramp up the teasing and cockiness.

We chatted for a bit and danced, little touching. She took frequent breaks to whisper in her friends’ ears.

After thirty minutes of dancing, I asked if she wanted to step outside for some air. She agreed and we had a fun conversation about how she was too young for me, otherwise I would have gone for her. She was 19. She teased me about how old I was. Touches were exchanged and her stares became longer and more steady.

We went back inside and danced some more. I touched her body and was ready to go for the kiss, but suddenly her friend wanted to leave. I offered to escort them to a cab, where I planned to persuade my girl to ditch her friends and go back inside with me. The plan failed and all I got was her number.

Young Colombian girls are extremely flaky, so I wasn’t confident I’d see her again. But after one phone call she agreed to a date. From the start she was touching me and I moved my chair closer so our legs were in constant contact.

“How much longer are you staying here?” she asked.

“I’ve got one more month.”

“Oh, no.”


“That’s not much time.”

I made my move within minutes. Between kisses, she told me how much it sucked that I have to leave since I was “cool.”

Unlike 99% of South American women, she was living on her own with roommates while attending college. After the date I offered to take her home in a taxi. Then I weaseled my way up using the bathroom excuse. She wouldn’t let me do anything in her room so I left after twenty minutes.

That weekend the plan was for her to cook in my kitchen before we went out for drinks. She came an hour late and I ended up cooking because she hadn’t gone grocery shopping. I gave her shit and she promised to make it up to me. After dinner she asked if she could spend the night.

“Yeah, the sofa is really comfortable. You can crash there.” She called me an asshole.

We went to a club and got dirty on the dance floor. She said, “I like you.” I said the Spanish equivalent of “ditto” to maintain the jerk vibe. She called me an asshole again, then grabbed me and attacked my face with her big lips. To an outside observer, our interaction was one of a young girl trying to win the affection of an experienced older man. The less affection I showed, the harder she tried.

After a few drinks I hit her with “Let’s go,” and we took a cab back to my place. The clothes came off, but she abruptly stopped and said, “My mind says yes, but I can’t.”

“Okay, that’s fine. We can just sleep.”

Ten minutes later she was back on top of me.

Finally it came out: “I’m a virgin!”

“You’re a what?” I replied.

“I’m a virgin! I know it’s weird, but I turn twenty next month and I just want to get it over with.”

“I can help you with that problem,” I said, smiling.

I eased my dick into her and she screamed loud enough for people in the hills to hear. For what seemed to be an hour, I worked my cock in an eighth of an inch at a time, eventually growing impatient and pouring lubricant all over her vagina. She was so tense and in so much pain that I felt bad for her, but I kept going until she stopped me, unable to take any more. I never got it in more than halfway.

In the middle of the night I woke up to jerk off on the toilet, skeeting all over the wall.

The next morning, I busted out with even more lube and got it in enough so that we were having what resembled sex. She squirmed and yelped while I was saying things like “You’re doing fine!” and “I’m almost there!” I eventually blasted and collapsed next to her. I saw her a couple times after that, but she always had an excuse for why she couldn’t have sex. I’m pretty sure I ruined her. Poor girl.

This story comes from his latest book, 30 Bangs:
(purchasing through that link supports Expat Chronicles)

To have similar adventures to Roosh, see luxury apartments in Medellin.


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10 Responses to “Contributed Story: Roosh V’s Colombian Virgin”

  1. Enrique

    18. May, 2012

    That is funny! I have to get that book.

  2. Mark

    22. May, 2012

    He opens with the line — to a group of Colombian girls, in Colombia — “You guys look like you speak Spanish?” and it works?

    All this time I’ve been opening wiht semi-intelligent things. Next time I’ll try Roosh’s retard approach.

  3. Twenty

    23. May, 2012

    I first parsed the story headline as “Roosh vs. Colombian Virgin”, which is I think funnier.

  4. Anonymous

    01. Jun, 2012

    rather disappointed , this is much more boring than the usual material you post ….

  5. Rawley

    13. Jun, 2012

    You see…Roosh’s opener was intentional to break the ice and make things a little more relaxed. I understand why he said that and I think its a clever move. That however, was the best part of the story.

    Roosh I dig what you are trying to do, but this one line troubles me a tad ..

    “The smaller a girl’s body, the bigger my manhood looks and the more powerful I feel in bed, as if I’m raping a teenage girl.”

    WTF? Do you have a desire to rape teenage girls? I mean I am the furthest thing from a sensitive man and I get the power of dominating a full grown woman in bed, but actual rape is a very serious thing. And feeling “power” off raping a “teen” is even worse than raping a regular woman, and would indicate you are even less powerful than a regular rapist. You might want to consider toning down that kind of shit, if it’s just you trying to be funny. But..If you really think raping a teen would be a good thing, then you need some help.

  6. Boy Toy (Thomas)

    16. Mar, 2013

    Virgins… Such a mess haha 😀


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