Bogota Zombie Bums
Alternate Title: Readers Attack – ‘Get the fuck out’!
My second hate comment, from “Julian”:
Please get the fuck out. dude, seriously, you’re the only piece of walking trash in that beautiful city,
My first reaction to this comment was: Wow, he doesn’t know this city at all!
Or maybe he has a warped definition of “trash”. He may honestly believe that Bogota’s biggest problem is the gringos with work visas teaching English and going to AA meetings. What this city really needs is more drunks and addicts panhandling in the street. That’s where it really gets its charm! Dumb ass.
No, even Julian isn’t that warped; he just doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I might’ve said something like that after a few days – or a week – in Bogota. You just don’t know the city yet. There are inaccuracies throughout my post after a 3-day trip here. I’ve been here almost five months now and still have a lot to learn. But after only a few days in a La Candelaria hostel, taking taxis to hang out up north every night? You don’t know shit.
I’ve heard there are 14,000 indigentes in Bogota. I was skeptical it was so high. However, there are so many that I couldn’t dismiss it outright. You can’t walk far without seeing one. They’re on every block, usually tearing apart bags of trash in search of recyclables.
Displaced Colombians are a serious issue for the city. Read more about the truly needy in Bogota here. However, most Bogota street bums are addicts and alcoholics. Drugs are insanely cheap.
In America, cocaine is expensive enough so cokeheads have to hold a good job to stay high. Cocaine is hoarded. Guys take it into bathrooms with only their closest friends. Here, cocaine’s priced in line with other party favors. It’s done in public and shared like cigarrettes. So cokeheads and bazuceros don’t have to be as active as American crackheads. Simply begging and collecting recyclables will keep them high.
You see drug use in the streets. You lose sympathy for the street people when you actually see them smoking, snorting, and drinking out in the open. One time I saw a kid smoking a pipe near a cop on a downtown corner, who didn’t bother him. What’s the point? The kid’s one of thousands.
I’ve been to almost every major city in America and a handful in Europe, and there’s nothing like the drug abuse in Bogota. There may be similar scenes in the worst parts of high-crime American cities, but it’s not contained here. My neighborhood isn’t bad at all, but that doesn’t mean you don’t see drug use on the street.
One day I was walking to my gym. I saw a bum, sprawled out on the sidewalk like it was his master bedroom, nursing his pipe right there on Avenida Caracas, a major thoroughfare comparable to American streets with names like Broadway, Grand, or Market.
It’s so often that I’ll pass a doorway or corner and see a bum with his pipe that I don’t even have specific stories anymore. It’s an everyday thang. Sometimes they’re just smoking weed, and sometimes it’s crack.
One time I passed a young kid huddled against the brick wall on my block, and he inadvertenly blew a thick cloud into the exact space I passed through. I smelled crack. Marijuana has a strong aroma; you can smell it a block away. Crack, on the other hand, has a very faint smell. You wouldn’t know it if you hadn’t been up close and personal. That’s how close I was to this kid, and it’s just another day on my street.
Drugs are the scourge of this city. If Julian came out of his pockets for anybody who asked for it during his short stay, he should know that money was up in smoke before he could dole it out to the next one.
Bogota is like Night of the Living Dead. During the day, eveything’s fine because there are millions of normal people out and about. It looks like any major city. But as soon as night falls, zombies come out and normal folks go inside. The zombies prowl the streets with empty souls and aprovechador eyes.
I got the Night of the Living Dead analogy one night as I stepped outside my building. There was one indigente on his knees, hurriedly (almost hungrily) tearing apart a trash bag and rifling through it for goodies. And there was another one standing in the middle of the street, staring down a sideblock. And there’s this other guy that’s always walking around the neighborhood talking to himself. I’ve seen him sometimes with a stick in his hand, banging walls and corners as he passes.
The worst thing about the Bogota bums is their attitude – again, unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Their attitude is that they have the right to your pockets. You owe it to them. It’s not uncommon, especially in La Candelaria where all the tourists are, for a bum to follow someone for a block or more with relentless begging.
One day in La Candelaria, I ran into a gringo I used to know. One of these zombie bums zeroed in on us. The little guy had long hair and a 2-week shadow, with a clear disorientation to reality and what was going on. He seemed drunk to me, but maybe he was just displaying the long-term effects of smoking bazuco. After we refused to give him money, he asked for the bread that the other gringo was eating. He asked for a piece of the bread that the gringo was eating. This gringo was kind of weird; I was only talking to him to be polite. He left without saying goodbye to ditch the bum, who gave chase and I continued about my business.
A Twitter update from July 17:
Bogota bum just called me ‘son of a whore’ when I wouldn’t give him money. I may knock one of these fools out someday…
Another from August 19:
The day when I knock one of these Bogota bums out is getting closer.
So I’ve often said I “may” knock one of these dudes out some day. Here’s what happened the day I dropped the “may”:
I picked up a few things at the grocery store – a big, clean, nice grocery store. As usual, there were a few guys outside selling candies and flowers. Since they were offering something tangible, I used the word “selling”. But this type of salesman’s main product is the warm feeling some people get from giving money away. They’re peddling guilt.
So one of the guys asked in pretty good English if I’ll buy some candy. I said no and continued down the street when I heard, “Why!?” I half-turned my head out of surprise but kept going. “It’s my job!” he said, and the son-of-a-bitch walked after me several steps, talking about “his country” or some other shit.
I usually don’t respond to these guys, but this time I turned my head and yelled “Shut the FUCK UP!” And he yelled one more time, “MY COUNTRY!”
After another block or so, I got the feeling I was running away from that little chump. I harbored that feeling and it boiled up after I got home and put away the groceries. What happens is these little things escalate. That incident alone isn’t enough for me to lose my temper, but small incidents like that consistently escalate my frustration to the point I might actually do something.
I have decided to lose my temper. Maybe that’s not technically “losing my temper” so much as it is a premeditated assault. Regardless, I’m predicting here and now that I’ll have a story someday about knocking one of these dudes out.
I was never a bully. In all my fights over the last five years, the other guy hit me first or was about to hit a close friend / relative. I don’t know if I’ll be able to hit a guy without him swinging first. But I can knock the candies out of his hand and push him hard enough to realize that his entire body weight ain’t that much. Shake him up enough to realize that his attitude is way out of line with reality.
It won’t be fair. I’d love for it to be a big, strong bum or somebody that might have a chance, but it’s unlikely. It’ll be a frail, old man or a youngster like this little cunt selling the candy.
Regardless of what you may think, I’m just as sensitive and liberal as anybody. I can see the argument that violence reciprocates violence. However, there’s also the argument that bowing down encourages bullies. When one bum can get away with talking to people like that, it spreads to other bums like a virus. Eventually, the whole city’s doing it.
By that logic, I’d be doing my civic duty by retaliating. Maybe if I can convince one bum to keep his attitude in check, others will follow suit. I emphasize my civic duty because I’m here legally, working legally, and paying taxes.
By the way, I’m writing this on the same day I heard about two different gringos from my English institute getting robbed in La Candelaria last week. One lost his leather jacket, money, and cell phone, and another lost her purse with EVERYTHING of value she owned except her passport. Also, keep in mind my friend Damien wasn’t asked for change once after staying in La Candelaria almost two weeks. NOT ONCE, as opposed to my average of once a day! So, Julian, your precious needy pandhandlers are not only bazuceros and thieves, they’re also RACISTS.
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11 Responses to “Bogota Zombie Bums”
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Thanks for a great blog. Reading it is an escape into another life. I visited Cartagena and Cali in the late ’90s and found them intriguing, but better enjoyed at a surface level then known in gritty detail.
Wishing you all the best,
Andy
As a former expat in the 3rd world (india), you have my every sympathy…the panhandling can push you near the edge. But ultimately when you yell at these guys (or hit them) it’s not a good look.
However much the provocation, it’s still you the rich, well fed, healthy foreigner taking your frustrations out on a dirt poor, under-nourished, ghetto dweller. It’s never something you feel proud of doing-
your blog is great man, I have been devouring it for the past few days. I will be in Bogota on the 5th and have a few days in the Candelaria, because that is all I found online. I got a bunch of cousins here, but I don’t want to get hustled into visiting every last relative etc…
Where would you suggest that is cool, maybe a lil sketchy, but still something a 1st generation colombian with 95% proficiciency in spanish to adventure? Any cool towns close by(2-4) hours that have interesting things to check out?
I am also travelling with my wife, who is a total gringa.
any info would help me out a ton man, thanks!!!
@ natsukashii –
Great point, but I honestly don’t care about that as much as the risk of running into one I beat up someday when he’s cracked out with a knife in his pocket.
@ Gustavo -
Honestly, bumming around La Candelaria and downtown in the evening should fulfill your need for sketchiness. If you want to see more, I highly recommend the Bogota Bike Tour I took, and not just because they gave me a free tour for the review on this blog. Make sure you take the Parque Simon Bolivar tour, or any tour that goes through (A) Parque Tercer Milenio, (B) Zona de Tolerancia, and (C) 7 de Agosto for a glimpse of Bogota grit at arm’s length.
As far as pueblos, La Calera and Guatavita can both be done in a day but I wouldn’t recommend visiting those unless you’re going to be in Bogota for a while. There’s enough great stuff in the city that you won’t have time to see. Here’s a quick list: Zona Rosa, Parque 93, Usaquen, Plaza Lourdes in Chapinero, La Macarena, and of course all the downtown stuff including Monserrate.
@ Everyone – Thanks for making me feel like I’m not the asshole here.
Rationalizing a violent backlash to a poor man panhandling once again shows your noble approach to life. 5 months in one location living as a foreginer hardly seems like your opinion qualifies as poignant and valid? You did a good job of your short stay in Arequipa and we welcome you back to try your violence here again. Your foto has been shopped around multiple cities here in Peru and i do hope you make a visit here again! A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing and your escapades are living proof of this. Perhaps, you need to re-analyze your mission down here in America del Sur. We did not ask you to come down here with your drunken, animalistic rage. You chose to do this because for some reason St. Louis and the prison system there had caught up to you. I suggest you grow up at age 30 and take a deep look at the monster you are and the way you rationalize your deviant behavior. I do wish you good luck because people can change but i also do suggest yo take caution if you wander back to Peru because your exploits have left a lasting memory amongst some of us natives who do live according to a code and don’t use our alcoholism as an excuse to behave like an ass when we deem fit. Grow up!
@ Mike en Arequipa -
“animalistic rage” … “prison system” … “monster”? There’s a serious failure in communication here, because I’m a nice guy.
I had you pegged for a European from a few details in that first comment, but you say “we” and “us natives” so I’ll take your word for it that you’re Peruvian. But now I’m under the impression that you’re a female. The tone of this comment suggests a hormonal balance of the finer gender.
Anyway, I think we’ve milked this conversation for all we can. Please keep reading though, and feel free to add your input in the future. FYI – I always announce my trips beforehand, so you can put the word out on the street with the Facebook mafia whenever I go back to Peru.
I support you Mike en Arequipa!!
We need to get rid of the foreign trash that comes to Peru. Maybe we should organize a kind of “Witch Hunt” type of thing. =]
Excellent blog! There’s not much that’s worth a damn out there on SA. I’ve been doing this expat gig for some time now (I’m 53 and still chasing/catching more than my share) in SA – I’ve found it to be a 70/30 deal. 70 good and 30 – the shit’s. As long as you can keep those numbers, it’s worth it. I’ve been en BA for 4 years and I’m headed north to Colombia – I’m just ready for a change. When the Portenas start appearing like the gringas I flew 6k miles to get away from…it’s time to leave. BTW, you got most of your BA review right, except for the women. While certainly hot and available, they are much more work and generally lower quality than you’ll find in Colombia or Venezuela. The real hot ones belong to a “club” that none of us will gain entrance to, unless you have a lot more coin than most of us. All in all, I’ve found SA to be a goldmine, albeit a mine with some scumbags stealing the gold. I’m from Detroit, another midwest shithole. I feel your pain. I should make my way through BOG some time in March. We should meet up and compare lies.
Hey Dude,
I live in Bogotá as well, have lived here for the last year. If not having a problem with the bums interests you, you have an attitude that is incompatible with that goal. I live on Caracas in Chapinero and am all over in all kinds of situations. While I am not saying you have to stare at the ground when you pass them, your confrontation here tells me something. All it requires is a “perdón no llevo sencillo” or a “perdón la próxima vez vacan.” You are looking for this interaction. I also understand that your reaction stems from the fact that you care. But, let’s say, taking one for the team, be they foreigners or foreigners and Colombians and decent folks who are bothered by indigentes all over the world, and rebelling against them doesn’t do anyone any good. I think you need to take the next step and forget about them or do something about it or just be at peace with the situation! Also, I have personally experienced caring about this, and got sarcastic and ended up almost with a knife through my throat so be very careful. You know these guys have nothing to lose and us everything.
[...] had some harsh words for the addicts of Bogota. Apparently, a lot of people dislike them more than I do. If I hated [...]
@ GROB -
Back in the States, I got out of the habit of telling bums “I don’t have any change” and the like because I felt uncomfortable lying to them.