Contributed Story: Pooping and Machu Picchu
SUMMARY: Stephen Loase, lead singer of Lonely Mattress Salesman, goes to Machu Picchu and poops his brains out. With pics.
Special undies
Before the trip, I went to REI for camping equipment. I bought a fleece, backpack, and a very special item: a $25 pair of special underwear you can wear for 4-5 days that doesn’t absorb odor/moisture. Happiness Level: A+
Cocoa Tea
We arrive in Peru. Upon arrival I notice the slight elevation sickness that everyone talks about so I drink the forbidden Cocoa Tea (made from pre-Cocaine leaves), which is supposed to dull the pain. Instead of the euphoric, drug-leaf-ridden tizzy I was hoping it would put me in, it made my stomach do jumping jacks while my upper intestine fell asleep with the door shut. Happiness Level: A- … Read more
Relocating to Bogotá, Colombia
SUMMARY: I’m moving to Bogotá, Colombia. I discuss my plans.
It’s official. I booked my flight Sunday. I move to Bogotá April 3, after exactly one year in Peru.
I’m starting a web development business. I’ve learned a lot about the internet from creating and maintaining this blog and from living with two computer guys. Of everything I’ve learned, there’s one point that stands out. Web practices in Latin America are SHIT. It’s not just Arequipa. It’s not just Peru. It’s the entire Spanish web: one big backwards piece of shit. Latin American websites use practices gringos stopped doing years ago – in some cases dating back to the nineties. The region will need help getting caught up for at least ten years. I’m going to help. I don’t know how to create the web solutions per se, but I can sell them. … Read more
Camaná Round Two
SUMMARY: I spent another weekend in Camaná. Not much to tell compared to the last time. I’ll keep it short.
Damien and I arrived around 6pm Saturday and there was a huge concert that weekend, so there were no rooms anywhere. We dropped our bags in the lobby of our old friends’ hotel and went out with no plan.
I got really drunk and ran into Rosa, my ex-girlfriend. I told her I missed her. I told her I still think about her. I tried to kiss her. She kept saying that I wasn’t her boyfriend anymore. But she smiled while she said it. I don’t remember saying goodbye. … Read more
Public Urination in Peru
I wrote in an earlier post that public urination in Peru is common and more accepted. I saw two incidents this week, both worthy of mention.
One night I was riding the combi home. The driver (a male) said to the attendant (a female) that the little girl sitting up front (about six years old) had to pee. It is common for the children of combi workers to ride the bus with them all night after school; not everybody can afford child care. The driver and attendant may have been a married team or maybe just one of them was the little girl’s parent. Anyway, the female attendant at the side door picked up the little girl and got off the bus at the next stop. She didn’t take the girl’s pants down or anything. The little girl just stood there on the sidewalk while the attendant waited for her. After a few moments, the attendant picked the little girl up, got back on the bus and put her in the front seat.
Another day I was walking past a bridge that goes over Avenida Ejercito, a major thoroughfare in Arequipa. Under the staircase leading up to the bridge, I saw a bare ass in a squatting position. Then a strong stream / explosion of urine came out the other side. An older, poorer woman was urinating under the bridge staircase for all to see.
Camaná: Bender at the Beach
SUMMARY: I go to an Arequipa beach town, Camaná, for rest and relaxation. Instead, I become a drunk idiot and violate women.
Camaná is a small beach town two hours from Arequipa. It’s only sunny at the beach in the middle of summer (January and February in the Southern Hemisphere). So this small beach town is a seasonal hotspot from now until March. Our bus was set to leave at 9am. Damien and I missed it. We took a taxi for, ironically, the same price. And the taxi arrived faster.
Damien and I rolled into the town plaza around 1pm and booked a hostel. We had ceviche at a place named Don Arturo. The ceviche at the beach is, as one would imagine, unequivocally better than that in the city because the fish is fresher. Still drunk from the night before, I started drinking again. … Read more
