Nasty Follow-Ups

Posted on 10. Jan, 2009 by Colin in peru

This post sums up interesting developments regarding hazing, basketball, racism, sex, work, and Peruvian culture. Jump to From Hazed to Hazer, Basketball, Cholo Cholin, AQP Gringo Tours, Anita, Milagros, and Scrawny Anorexic.

From Hazed to Hazer – a follow-up to Hazing in Peru

A week after the team put Icy Hot in my ass, I met Sebastián – a new addition to the team who wasn’t at our initiation. Coach said he must adhere to tradition and singled me out, probably due to my performance when the team subdued me. He addressed me in English while pointing at Sebastián, “Colin, fetch.”

I didn’t hesitate. Sebastián can’t be more than 18 years old. He weighs ~150 pounds and still has baby fat on his cheeks. It’s not fair. I wrapped my right arm around his right side and bent his entire upper body under my right arm. I turned him around so he was bent over in front of the entire team.

They pounced. They ripped his pants down and started spanking him. Either the force of the mob pounce or Sebastián’s knees buckling sent him and me to the ground, his entire upper body still completely subdued under my right arm. The team spanked and spanked and started to punch his young ass until the cheeks turned red. I assumed this is what they do when they don’t have Icy Hot and considered myself fortunate. I started to feel bad for the kid and wanted to let him up. Then Payaso came to the front, his hand in a plastic bag caked with Icy Hot. Fuck’s sake!

My application was a quick wipe – deep but not penetrating. For Sebastián, Payaso went deep. He wiggled his hand. It wasn’t quick. There are only TWO people who know whether Sebastián was penetrated, and I’m not one of them. I felt sorry for the kid.

Basketball

I saw a Facebook event last week for the city basketball championships. I called Coach, who asked where I’d been. He told me to come to practice Wednesday.

I’d been working to earn a spot as a starter. I ceased weight training to play basketball five times a week and follow a plyometrics program to increase my vertical. I quit when I sprained my ankle in October (pic).

Everyone greeted me enthusiastically at practice (¡HOLA, HUEVÓN!). After warming up, Coach sat us down and went into a tirade about the first of the three-game series, which we won by four points. My translation is not literal, but you get the idea:

We go out there and fuck them up. We build a lead by ten or twenty. Then you turn into lazy asses! You play defense like girls. They catch up. They close the lead or even tie the game. Then we go up again so you can be sissies for a while. Why can’t we kill them? Why can’t we fucking kill them? I want to fucking kill them!

I didn’t miss the drama. I just want to play. We practiced jump shots for thirty minutes. Then I sat down while the guys ran plays and defenses. I don’t miss running plays either. I just want to play.

After practice we went to Domino’s for a team dinner. I heard this when walking past the other end of our table:

Paolo: “Huevón mahdair-fahkair.”

José: “La comida de tu país es una mierda,” (your country’s food tastes like shit).

Lorenzo: “Un país de basura,” (a shit country).

It wasn’t my choice to come here. It’s actually my first time.

José: “Se sabe como la chucha de tu mamá,” (it tastes like your mom’s pussy).

I wouldn’t know.

Lorenzo: “El negro Obama está cachando tu mamá ahorita,” (the black Obama is fucking your mom right now).

I missed you guys too.

We won the championship. There was a big team dinner afterward, paid for by the school. Then we went to Payaso’s house and got drunk. Twenty guys – coaches, players, and school faculty – crammed into a small living room. The party was both sentimental and raucous at times. We won’t train together until May or June. I got home around 5:30 am.

Cholo Cholin – a follow-up to Cholos, Cholas, Cholo Power and Cholita Brown

My office nickname has become “Cholin,” a combination of ‘cholo’ and ‘Colin’. They say I have cholo tendencies. I use a ton of ají, the spicy Peruvian sauce served with everything. I eat at the cheapest establishments in Arequipa. I work out at a cholo gym. I occasionally drink at cholo dives. But most of all I got my nickname due to my enthusiasm for cumbia, reggaeton, and even folklorico.

I was known to dig chicha, but everyone was shocked when I announced I had discovered a new singer, Sonia Morales, and played a few of her songs. The backlash was similar to what’d happen if you played Kenny Chesney or Billy Ray Cyrus in an urban office setting in America. Everybody complained to me to turn it off because it’s “fea.”

Great music often comes with negative connotations. Peruvian cumbia’s Wikipedia page says “it is very popular with the lower social classes … The higher classes generally view the music with contempt, though this subgenre is starting to become accepted among them, which is a sign of its increasing popularity” – 100% accurate. And if cumbia is low, folklorico is the bottom.

AQP Gringo Tours

Carlos had the idea of starting a tourism agency. I bring in the gringos, he knows people all over Peru to take care of them. We never followed up. One day I saw an elderly gringo couple on a downtown street that was under construction. They were panting, sweating in the sun, walking through the dirt. I assume they were looking for a place to eat. They’d find nothing in the direction they were headed.

I tried the agency idea. The idea was to help clueless tourists get the most out Peru. You may have noticed the AQP Gringo Tours link on this blog. Aside from arrangements, I could show gringos the real Peru off the beaten path.

Within a week I got an email from “Evan.” He was visiting Cusco in December and wanted specifics about my services. I Googled his email address and found a few results on sex-related sites. I sent a subtle reply listing examples of my typical services. Taking tourists to brothels was the second example, listed between touring indigenous pueblos and making arrangements to climb a mountain.

Evan was interested, but not in brothels. He needed full arrangements: hostel, transportation, Machu Picchu, everything. Plus a wingman to help him meet girls in bars. I sent a proposal. He’d get picked up at the airport, taken to the hostel, have his tickets arranged, and of course somebody to take him out.

In the price of the proposal was a 20% commission for myself – about $40. Evan agreed and I realized I could have charged 50%.

Carlos’ friend Billy was my contact in Cusco. He stood to do well from his own service fee in addition to his owning the hostel Evan would stay at. Everything was in place as I left for St. Louis. Billy would meet Evan at the airport with a sign that read EVAN.

Evan and Billy never met. They both say the other was not at the airport. I believe Evan because I am all-too familiar with Peruvian time-orientation and work ethic. Evan said he waited twenty minutes before going with an agency at the airport. I was pissed and pulled the plug on the whole idea.

On the bright side, Evan was cool about it and reported he got his sexual fill with Lima bricheras.

Anita

I never explained what happened with Anita since the Irish were in Arequipa. I didn’t have a phone so she’d just come over to the apartment unannounced. Sometimes I wouldn’t be there and Beto would call to tell me she was over. She’d either wait or leave.

I moved in late September. I never told her where I moved to. I just moved. She never had my email and I didn’t have a phone. Now she had nothing. The breakup worked itself out naturally.

Excerpt from an email about Anita I sent to some friends:

One night early on she was on her period. She sucked my dick for like an hour. When I finally came, she didn’t suck it out. She used her hand and the cum went all over my dick and waist and whatnot. As I reached for the roll of toilet paper on my nightstand she scooped all the cum up with her hand and rubbed it on my dick like lotion. She then stroked it for twenty more minutes. It felt really good, like a mouth. She stroked it until it was dry, having rubbed all the cum back into my skin.
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She licks the skin under the sac every time she blows me. She’s spent a full minute down there.
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One time during doggystyle she told me she wanted me to come in her mouth (no problem). I told her when I was about to come to suck real hard. She sucked it out and swallowed it all. Then she told me it tastes good.
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She always strokes, sucks, and plays with it for a long time after I cum. One time she asked how to say it in English. After I told her, she took it out of her mouth and said in a thick accent “I love your dick,” and put it back in her mouth.  (I loav jore deek)
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Last night she was sucking it while I played with her vagina. She took my hand away from her vagina and sucked the juices off my fingers.
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She bought me dinner both times we’ve gone out. She’s done the dishes twice, my laundry once, cleaned my room once, and ironed two of my workshirts.

Choice reply from my buddy Chuck:

You’re a damn descriptive son of a bitch.

Milagros

I met Milagros a few weeks before Christmas. We had sex the first night. We hung out the next weekend because I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

We hung out my last two nights before leaving for the States. She gave me a Christmas present and told me not to open it until Christmas. I stuffed it in my bag and opened it at my dad’s house sixteen hours later. A card, a picture of Arequipa, and a black alpaca fleece scarf. The card featured an image of a puppy and kitten cuddled next to each other with their heads tilted and touching. Very cute. The message inside finished with “Muchos besitos. ¡Te quiero mucho!”

I gave the scarf to a friend who wears scarves.

Scrawny Anorexic – a follow-up to Natural Weight

I weighed 225 when I moved to Peru. My weight dropped as low as 185. Back in America, I was ridiculed by my workout partners: George and John. I was called “anorexic” and “scrawny.”

Buy Peruvian Maca.

Related posts:

1. Basketball, Language, and Civil Unrest in Peru SUMMARY: My new basketball team, improving Spanish, and the protest / civil unrest dimension of Arequipa, Peru. My basketball team played our first game last Wednesday night. I played about 15 of the 40 minute game. In my 15 minutes, I had 2 points, several rebounds, a few blocks, and...
2. Cholos, Cholas, Cholo Power, and Cholita Brown SUMMARY: I discuss the meaning of the word 'cholo' with examples and antecdotes. Before moving to Peru I misunderstood the term 'cholo' for what it means in the States, where cholo has morphed into meaning Mexican gangster - the stereotype having a shaved head, tattoos, and knee-high ankle socks pulled...
3. Hazing in Peru SUMMARY: I get a good dose of hazing in Peru courtesy of my basketball teammates, which is described in humiliating detail. I got a good dose of Peruvian hazing last night after we pounded a team 73 - 46. There were a handful of new guys who I assume were...
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Tags: arequipa, basketball, business, cholo, economics, latinas, music, sex, tourism, violence