Hazing in Peru
I got a good dose of Peruvian hazing last night after our team pounded San Juan 73 – 46. There were a handful of new guys – youngsters – who I assume were the best players from the high school team and the coach wants to start exposing them to the men’s Superior League.
After the beatdown, we all gathered in the locker room to discuss the next practice, etc. Coach told us that San Jose has a tradition for new players and these three new youngsters need to follow suit. A couple voices yelled out, “¡Colin también!“ After hearing this, guys stole glances at me laughing. I immediately got nervous. Ramiro looked at me and told me I looked tense, laughing.
Then the crowd decided I was long overdue and should go first. They pushed me to front and center in front of Coach, who blocked the door. He went into a long speech about tradition, and how everybody went through this including Jose, Paolo, Lorenzo, all the guys.
I assumed my fight posture, half wondering if they were all going to rain punches on my arms and body. At the same time, I kept eyeing Payaso, the team captain, holding a bottle of Icy Hot but not applying any to his arms or legs as usual. Lorenzo said, “Doggystyle bitch!” Everybody laughed.
Coach told me they were going to put Icy Hot in my ass and that fighting makes it worse. I should do it “voluntario“. Payaso put a plastic baggie over his right hand and dug it deep into the ICY HOT, caking the bag on both sides. I said they must be joking. Mauricio said “No joking.” Coach appointed Paolo, Ramiro, and Jose – three of the stronger guys – to restrain me if I fought.
I fought. The fight went on for a while. After some minutes, two guys were holding each of my legs in the air and two guys were holding each arm (eight guys total). I was suspended in the air as if on a bed with my arms and legs tied. My next plan was to use my ab muscles and wriggle strength to keep my pants on and maybe get a foot on the ground.
But alas! Of all the days to wear my breakaway pants, somebody pulled at my pants and they completely ripped off by the buttons that line each leg from hip to ankle. Before I could develop my next plan, Payaso pulled my underwear down and raked the Icy Hot-caked bag down the length of my buttcrack. He didn’t penetrate me per se, but wiped pretty hard. The guys dropped me and started laughing hysterically.
I was in a fraternity and, however sometimes dangerous and politically incorrect, I understand the value of hazing. So I gave them what they wanted. I sat on the sink rubbing cold water into my butt. The sight of me, sitting in the sink with my pants around my ankles, rubbing my ass with cold water sent the guys into a frenzy. After I was done, each and every one of the guys shook my hand, patted me on the back, and welcomed me to the team. And of course they got the youngsters too.
The burn was terrible for maybe twenty minutes. After that time, it almost feels good. However, and this may be why fighting makes it worse, a good amount of Icy Hot got in my chode and some on the skin of my nutsack. The skin protecting the family jewels is very sensitive and it burned for a long time after everything else calmed down. The burning pain in my butt, while it mostly went away after twenty minutes, would return if I sat down. So I didn’t sit down for 2 – 3 hours after the application.
I don’t know why I fought. It seemed more natural than dropping my pants and bending over for a voluntary application. Plus, I took satisfaction in the fact that, after all the applications were administered, it took eight of them plus Payaso, and how the battle spanned from one side of the locker room to the other.
I never played a sport for my high school or college. I assume American teams do something like this, but I’m not sure how it compares in extremity. Maybe it’s the same. I didn’t have anything like that done to me in the fraternity. So this was the worst I have gotten in my life. Keep in mind that this is mild to what can happen in Peru – especially in the military. (See my post titled Human Rights)
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3 Responses to “Hazing in Peru”
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I’m guessing you were hazed in Peru, according to your posting of October 9th.
drew -
you’re sharp! your observational skills are impressive.
yes, for those who didn’t pick up on that, i was hazed – with icy hot in the ass. it wasn’t so bad.
colin
[...] UPDATE: At the time, I thought Jose was saying ‘Is he hot’, but later realized he was saying “Icy Hot”, which would be pronounced the same in a thick Spanish accent. For more info, check out the Hazing in Peru post. [...]