Steve’s Last Night in Arequipa
Chuck and Steve had a blast in Cusco. They met some Irish girls. Chuck had sex with one of them and Steve made out with another. They returned to Arequipa Wednesday. Chuck slept all night and flew out Thursday morning. Steve, Beto and I went out Thursday night.
At the club, Beto knew a girl at a table of girls and gringos. One of the gringos was a 17 year old kid. Another gringo, who had dreadlocks and sandals, teaches English. Another gringo at the table was getting married this weekend. He runs a tourism agency catering to Americans visiting Peru – mountains, jungle, Machu Picchu, Cusco, Colca, Lima, whatever.
The 17 year-old gringo kept asking Steve and me about sex. What is the average age to first have sex? How many partners is the average? Questions like that. I gave a lecture to this kid.
I told him to stop worrying about it or he’s setting himself up for misery. I told him that not only was he never going to be happy, but also that there is no such thing as happiness. He would never be having enough sex – in his mind. Whenever he would have a girlfriend, he would crave cheap, sleazy sex. And whenever he was getting cheap, sleazy sex, he would want a regular girlfriend. And whenever he had a girlfriend and also was having cheap, sleazy sex on the side, he would long for a girl he really loves and doesn’t want to cheat on. But even that kind of love fades after a couple years or so. And he’ll be back to misery. So accept it now.
People always seem to have a problem with this theory. They are wrong and I am right. If men were able to be happy, humanity wouldn’t have accomplished most of its accomplishments throughout history. You always have to improve, create value, be better.
I was recently explaining this theory to Carlos, who initially disagreed. We’d been talking about Heath Ledger, who Carlos believes to have committed suicide and doesn’t understand why somebody like him would commit suicide (given his money, women, fame, etc.). This was a perfect opportunity for me to explain my theory that he wouldn’t be happy after a year or so in that situation either. He eventually agreed. Some may call me a cynic, but I actually felt a lot better when I abandoned my quest for happiness. It was liberating. My new thing: excitement. Avoid boredom. Happiness is a pipe dream. It doesn’t exist.
After Chuck and Steve left Peru, Rosa told me that their weekend girlfriends wanted to have sex with them. I had no idea. Chuck and Steve had no idea. Thanks for telling me! Oh well, they still fun. This weekend, Rosa and I will go to Colca Canyon for a long weekend. She’s coming over right now to shave my back. So I gotta go…
Popular reggaeton song by an American immigrant group - one Puerto Rican and one Peruvian. “Cual es Tu Cau Cau” (What is Your Problem) by La Fabrica:
“Sensacion del Bloque” (Block Sensation) by De La Ghetto ft. Randy:
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