Sleaze in Arequipa (and God’s Punishment)
Dennis arrived Thursday. I had Rosa line up an English-speaking friend and we went out for some food and a drink. Dennis and I were really tired so we called it an early night. When I got back to the apartment, the entire second floor was underwater – about five inches. My roommate’s dad made a minor repair to the toilet which apparently came undone while we were out. Now the second floor was a lake.
Dennis had the insane, divine luck to have put his suitcase and all his things on top of my bed where they stayed completely dry. We slept on the couches downstairs. Friday, Dennis and I spent all morning sweeping the water out the front door.
Dennis got a kick-ass tour of Arequipa if I don’t mind pattin’ myself on the back. I showed him Plaza de Armas, Plaza España, Plaza las Americas, el Mirador de Sachaca, and more. Rosa planned on coming with us every night Dennis was in town. However, during one of her five or six phone calls on Friday, she said to me “Llamame si me quieres ver.” Call me if you want to see me. Oh hell no.
So I didn’t call her all weekend. Partly because I wanted to get crazy with Dennis and getting crazy, and partly because I needed to set a precedent that she won’t be talking to me like that. I had already agreed to hang out with her every night so talking like that was completely unnecessary. We went to Deja Vu (the main brichera hot spot) Friday night. I got a hot German chick’s phone number who was living in Arequipa. Dennis made out with a British chick and then got cock-blocked by my roommate.
Saturday, I’d lined up a big lunch with Dennis and some Peruvian friends. We almost slept in for it, but met them in the nick of time and started drinking again, still drunk from the night before. We had ceviche at a nice outdoor restaurant in the city. My roommate and our new Dutch roommate joined us, which was nice for Dennis because there was a lot of English-speaking. We laughed for the whole meal before coming back to the apartment for naps.
Then we went to La Tradición, a traditional Latin music dance club and must-see for visiting gringos. At first, six or seven of us got a table outside and starting pounding anisados and beers. At one point, Dennis indicated that somebody was standing behind me. I turned around to see a nicely-dressed, middle-aged Peruvian waiting for his turn to talk. He moved to my side and started talking in English about his country. Then he started to talk about my country and his country.
He was so drunk I had no idea what we was talking about. At some point, he started to take a rude tone and maybe even pointed his finger at me. I stood up and yelled “Get the fuck away from me!” Beto and his brother got in between and the guy went away. The guy was so drunk he would have gotten knocked out in less than a second (one-one-thousand, it’s over).
Inside, he came up to me twice more but lots of people were always in between us. Security eventually kicked him out. My blood was boiling and I thought there was no chance I was going to have a good time. However, the Latin passion for dance must have conquered my desire for revenge as I ended up dancing the night away.
Dennis and I danced until it was time to go to Deja Vu. At Deja Vu, I got some Peruvian chick’s phone number and Dennis made out with my new Dutch roommate. In the taxi to my apartment, Dennis was again cock-blocked by my roommate so we just went to bed. My roommate cock-blocked him two nights out of two (2/2 = 100%). Sunday we walked around the city. We said goodbye and he left for Cusco and Machu Picchu.
I can’t believe the things Dennis said about Peru and Latin America. I just can’t believe he isn’t also in love as much as I am with everything – the women, the food, the culture, the music. As far as the women, he said he prefers gringas – white girls. He said he’d prefer an overweight white girl over an average looking Latina.
As far as food, HE DIDN’T LIKE CEVICHE! At Saturday lunch, he gave me his whole plate after picking out the sweet potatoes. How can any person not like ceviche? As far as culture, he said he wasn’t a big fan of the warmth. He didn’t like shaking every guy’s hand and kissing every girl to greet them. He said it’s a waste of time. Cold fucking gringo! At one point, he said he doesn’t understand how the hell I can live here. He said it’s so run-down and there are so many poor people. I guess it’s not for everyone.
God’s Punishment
Sunday night, I came down with some serious diarrhea. From Sunday till Tuesday morning, I went to the bathroom 22 times (I counted). My asshole was so raw that it hurt to stand up, sit down, sit up, and just lay down. I stopped eating food altogether in fear of having to poop it out. I had nothing but juice Monday and Tuesday.
I called Rosa Monday on her lunch break to tell her how I was. She was a little mad about the weekend but wanted to see me. She came over Monday and Tuesday nights. Both nights, I laid my head in her lap and she pampered my for 2 – 3 hours. It took my mind of the pain.
I found it ironic that the first time I got sick in Peru was when Dennis was here. I’ve been eating at some of the cheapest restaurants in the city, throwing caution to the wind on a regular basis. Then Dennis comes in town and refuses to eat anywhere like that (with good reason). So I only ate at the nicest places in town all weekend, and that‘s when I get sick. It’s like my stomach was used to all the shitholes and couldn’t handle well-prepared food.
No, in retrospect, I think it was the insane amount of alcohol I ingested. (I didn’t really detail how much anisado we drank at Tradicion). I came out of the weekend with the goal to lay low, not drink much, calm down, and be a better boyfriend to Rosa.
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6 Responses to “Sleaze in Arequipa (and God’s Punishment)”
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Ah your friend Dennis sounds like a highstrung lightweight traveller no offense. Not someone who bathes in the richness of cultural exchange. Even somewhat jaded to the point of not being able to see past some of the crude exteriors of Peru and appreciate its true hidden beauty. Sure Peru is no bloody Paris but who cares. Affluence be damned I say. For the amount of value you get in return socially culturally and even spiritually I sure as hell don’t regret looking at Peru as fondly as I come to know it.
I think the pros outweigh the cons by a long shot. Another thing that would be interesting to know is how long Dennis had been outside the nestled bosom of his hometown. I find many expats don’t really become as enamored with the whole experience unless they stick it out for at least 6 weeks or more. By then the runs have long subsided, the homegrown pretentiousness of the west has become a glaringly obvious liability to keep and almost a personality flaw if persisted with. And you end up doing as the Romans do so to speak, and just welcome the good vibes from the locals, and funnily enough learn to let your hair down and live alittle.
As for picking even a chubbette white girl over an average latina?!?! WTF, he obviously has no notion that looks, personality and many more facets make up the complete package. And the natural flair and finesse latin women carry themselves with… I would even challenge any guy to find her equal white girl counterpart to hold any interest with me. If so I’d say these mythical white women counterparts are all in italy, spain or greece, but definitely not in north america, britain or australia! lol. I might even venture over to Argentina if I want a lighter flavoured latina, if gringas are really the flavour of the week, but you wont catch me running a marathon there, Im quite content with whats on offer
dennis is not an expat. he lives in DC. he has been to europe twice – one of which was a three-week backpacking trip. this was his first time to latin america.
he liked his time here but felt absolutely no draw to live in latin america. i think if he were going to go expat, london would probably be his destination.
Ah I see. I went to London a few times early on in my backpacking adventures, its a quaint little town, if you find overcast rainy days endearing enough that is. But alot of aussies from back home prefer London too. Ah well different strokes for different folks. I never grasped the aussie facination with London, maybe a deep primal urge to return to the motherland, but I find its tight streets and architecture too similar to the colonial part of Sydney where I would rent out a little room the size of a shoebox, in my first year of uni. Not my proudest moments when I remember how uni students struggle to eke out a living when trying to make something of themselves.
Well I should say that the period of my stays in Peru are never set in stone. I may venture off to Chile at the end of summer or stay only 5months if my money is running low. But ultimately in summer I keenly set my sights for the road trips to the south beaches of Lima like San Bartolo that I fondly look forward to, they have terrific niteclubs there, one of the most popular ones in an area called Asia or Santa Maria is noteworthy too. Plenty of tourist, but also plenty of young latin talent too to be mesmerized with. Since we travel in a big group we often stay at the very lavish, villas or the more modern american style condos that seem to be the rave nowadays too here.
Hey guys, to clear up a few things I’ve actually been to europe 6 times, I lived in Italy for 3 years, and I have a lot of family in England which is one of the reasons I love it there. But this trip was certainly my first experience in a country that isn’t considered wealthy. For that reason I may have been overly cautious or highstrung.
In terms of the Latina women, I really didnt feel for the Peruvians but i do have to say that i found that the women of columbia were some of the hottest I’ve ever seen.
The Sleaze has spoken
I would have to agree with Marc here. This “Sleaze” as you call him seems devoid of any ability to open up to multiculturalism and ideological sharing. To open yourself up to other cultures and surroundings is understanding the complexities of being human and adapting to circumstance. So, you’ve been to Europe six times, three years in Italy, huh? Probably some sort of military brat or some such nonsense. I hope you retained all of that cultural experience you must have gained by visiting the on base Burger King. England too you say, way to stretch that gap, they speak so different. Way to expand your horizons buddy. As for the latin women, you should really open yourself up to some of that. They are like a flower opening up it’s petals to expose its buds, and then, like some great albino bee, you fuck the hell of it, perhaps it may even allow you access to the stem (although stem sounds almost phallic, but I’ve already mentioned the bee part so it should be assumed that the bee is male and the flower female, but just to clarify, the allusion is meant to be to anal sex, similar to what Colin spoke of in his blog, because some girl let him fuck her in the ass and I assume this is the case for all latinas as I believe it’s safe to assume most anything ). Getting back on point, obviously this Dennis cat is a douchebag.
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Cheers! Sandra. R.